Thursday, July 28, 2011

Breaking The Habit

I was just lying in bed, obviously not falling asleep and the song Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park came on, on my iPod. I haven't heard that song in a really long time and as I was listening to the lyrics they really inspired me. They really hit me dead on. The lyrics talk about breaking a habit and not letting it consume you anymore. I have decided to really try harder at breaking my habit of binge eating. Its going to be really really hard and I know that because it has been. But I really hope that I can break that habit right now, starting tonight like the song says. I want to quit cold turkey, I am not sure how I will be able to do this but I plan on taking it one day at a time. I started working out again, something I have been trying to avoid for a long time since it is what started this whole mess, what with me becoming so consumed and addicted to it that I formed myself a major eating disorder. I hope that I won't let it take control of my life this time. Like my therapist said this week, I have complete control. Well that is all for now, here are the lyrics for the song, I will post again soon.

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again

You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again

I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight

I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean

I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight

2 comments:

Allison Marie said...

I am here for you, always, Emily. You can do this. :]

Emily's Blog said...

Thanks Allie, you are so nice! :)